You Matter to Me.

It’s the people, people. Really. Its the people that make all of this worth it. I say this a lot, in different ways, but I say it all the time: Be the person you want to meet. We’re all on a journey…we all merged onto this road at different places, but we’ll undoubtedly cross paths at some point. When we do, I look forward to it. Whatever you’re going through, be it happy or sad, I want to hear about it. If you’re crying, I’ll watch over you till you put it back together. If you’re happy, we’ll rejoice together. If you need anything, I am here. For all of you who’ve been there for me: thank you. It’s meant the world to me, you mean the world to me. You Matter.

I’ve been in a weird place lately. As a rule, when I’m in a weird place, I take those feelings, mull them over for a bit, then project that deficit outward in an effort to heal that deficit in someone else. I’ve felt a bit, like I don’t matter in the way I want to matter. I do a good bit of introspection and I feel like my assessment of myself at the end of the day is accurate. I’m aware of my shortcomings and work to correct them. I had an image of who I was and how I fit into my profession and lately…I felt people aren’t looking to listen to what I bring to the table. They simply think their way of doing it is the only way and they want to know if I can execute the task in that sole way. No thought towards a better way…just drudging through doing it the same old way. So with those feelings…You Matter and I want to hear about what you’re thinking about. I want to take the time to know what you know.

Thanks for reading. *fist bump*

You’ve Got About a Minute and Half….Go.

I can tell I’m getting old. I could make any number of quips about aches and pains setting in…but I believe in fitness, so I don’t really have those.

I can tell, because new people have about a minute and a half for me to decide if they’re worth my time.

“Matt, you need to be more understanding, caring, thoughtful…..”

Nope. Life is about buying and selling and time is the most precious commodity.

People who don’t make a point to know themselves and know how the things they do, rub people, will generally not make the cut. Those people usually get cut in about 30 seconds. Like, how do you not know your laugh could peel paint? Your observance of personal space is perhaps more European than it should be as a person who lives in America or your observance of personal space is too American for someone who lives in Europe. There are certain things, as an adult, you should be able to observe and deduce correctness.

Food noises. I cannot do food noises. If you are an audible eater, especially in a professional setting, nope. I can’t do you. You will not make the cut. Eating is a good thing to do with people, it brings people together, but it should still be a neat and tidy affair. Your food noises should be just that: yours.

I’m not just going to drop this on you without a solution or a take-away.

When you are in public think about a couple of things when meeting people for the first time.

1. Eye contact.

2. Firm, abrupt handshake.

3. Calm, measured tone of voice.

4. Listen.

I could go on, but I promise, your next interaction with new or old people will be much more pleasurable if you follow those four tips.

Other things to think about when you are meeting someone for the first time, regardless of work or play:

1. Would this person take me their mother’s funeral or best friend’s wedding?

2. Would this person want to grab a beer/coffee with me if we ran into each other again?

These are two seemingly innocuous questions, but they have quite a bit of relevance.

Weddings and funerals are not events to be taken lightly. Most people wouldn’t take just anyone to their mother’s funeral. Certainly not a loud eating, hyena laughing, shifty eyed, buffoon. Same goes for weddings, although I think more leeway is afforded to wedding because they are a more cheery event. Still, unless you can/have demonstrated an ability to behave like a civilized person, you will not be invited to either of these events.

A beer or coffee. Two simple things. Two things just about everyone enjoys. To take coffee or a beer with someone shows investment. The desire to invest time, lingering over a beverage in a public place.  I try to be aware enough of my presence to assure that if given the opportunity to interact with me again…beer or coffee could be in the forecast. It is for the investment, not for actual drinking.

Just some food for thought. Have an awesome day.

Your resume does not make you an expert.

Your resume does not make you an expert. Your ‘connections’ do not make you an expert. Your alma mater does not make you an expert.

You can spend decades in a field and be moderately successful. But, if you are unable to impart your knowledge to the up-and-comers in your field, you cannot be considered an expert.

Being unable to communicate effectively, the ‘why’ of how what you do, works – clearly defines you as: not an expert.

In the civilian sector, we are surrounded by people, hired based on a manager’s contrived ability to ‘get along’ with a potential hire. It would seem the inner dialogue follows a pattern of: “Will this person make waves? Am I going to want to murder this person? Will I enjoy working with them?”

Those questions seem to surface more often than the question: “Is this person competent? Are they a well-rounded fill-in-the-blank?”

There seems to be a distinct lack of individuals who strive to encompass a 360-degrees skill set which would enable them to not only fill multiple roles, but also impart their knowledge to other members of the team, thus creating an environment of learning and collaboration, pushing the into a realm of quickly built credibility.

It doesn’t do the team any good to have a person who is really good at a particular task, who is unwilling or unable to teach others what makes him/her so good.

The other common thought of “I might lose my job if I teach someone else to do what I do, if they end up being better than me” is also a fallacy. A team composed of 360-degree superstars is going to generate a work tempo that keep them employed collectively and allows them to rise to the top of their field based on shared knowledge and a logical spreading of work tasks.

A team composed of 360-degree workers will have the flexibility of writing their own checks. The best get paid. There are far more opportunities for a team of superstars to make money and gain notoriety than for just one person, who is constantly trying to distance themselves from underachievers and those who make work well but don’t add anything to the team aside from expertise in a fraction of the entire task or field.

Sure, there are fields where solo work is the way to go and I applaud those folks who embark on that ‘lone wolf’ trail and encourage them to be the best they can be.

But, in fields where you have a team i.e. public relations, information technology, marketing, sales etc. It’s important for the longevity of the field and field integrity to ensure the majority of workers are that 360-degree professional.

I will likely go into more detail later…but I’d like this to get the conversation started.

WP

Veterans Need Jobs Too…Tim Knows All About It.

I have a friend. His name is John.  He has a friend named, Tim. This is Tim’s list, from John. Give this a read and start jamming on your resume. I’ve helped a couple people with their resumes and this is wonderful advice. Feel free to contact me if you need resume help.

Tim’s Top Ten on Resumes for Veterans
1. It is ok to use a proper sentence. Stop writing your bullets to look like a fitness report. Bullets from your fitness report may contain some valuable information that you can use on your resume, but are not always structured properly. You do not need to speak in 3rd person.
2. Use a standard resume format. When I review resumes the first thing I do is read the opening paragraph. I don’t really see a need for the word “Objective” to be written in bold, to tell me that is what I am going to read. Just write a decent opening to introduce yourself. A wise man once said “He who reads company website… Borrows words for opening paragraph”
3. The next section I jump to is “Education” on the bottom. I am looking for clues that lead me to believe you are capable of learning the job that I am going to hire for. What are your certifications? Can you work with Microsoft Office? Don’t just tell me you went to college. Do you know how to use any of the systems that we use? Help me out.
4. Now I move to the meat and potatoes. “Experience”. I quickly scan where you worked. Then I dive into the bullets. This is where tip number one comes in handy. What did you do that was successful where you were working? What on earth does your billet mean? If you were a platoon sergeant I might have no clue what that means in civilian language. Were you responsible for managing entry level employees and lower level supervisors? Here is the rule I use:
E-1 – E3 Entry Level
E-4 Lower Level Management
E-5 – E-6 Mid-Level Management
E-7 – E-9 Upper Level Management
O-1 Lower Level Management
O-2 – O-3 Mid-Level Management
O-4 – O5 Upper Level Management
O-6 – O-10 Executive Level Management
5. Spell out all acronyms! What does SNCOIC mean? Now that you told me it means Staff Non-Commissioned Officer in Charge I am still clueless. Translate to terms that I can understand. The rule above might help.
6. If you have been awarded any personal awards, put them at the end of your resume. Give me the basics. This way if I call you for an interview I can ask for details if I choose to. Here is an example
Awarded a Navy and Marine Corps Accommodation Medal for meritorious service while serving as Utilities Chief in support of Operation Iraqi Freedom.
7. Your resume is the first thing I see. Make a good impression. The very next thing that I do, is look for you on Linkedin. I may even look for you on Facebook. I am looking for reasons not to hire you.
8. Submit a PDF copy of your resume. The format on your computer may look completely different on my computer if it is a word doc. When you submit a PDF I see the exact same thing you see.
9. Show your resume to lots of smart people. Get their professional input. Make sure you bring more than one copy with you. You will want to make notes on one and leave that smart person with the other. You never know what they will do with it.
10. Do not be lazy. Get it done! No one cares about you more than you!

No More Teasers…Hello.

Relationships.

We all have them. We cherish some of them, we avoid others. We seek them, we seek to end them.

I’ve been thinking, especially upon my return from Afghanistan about relationships. Here’s where I’m at.

We are inherently consumers. We are wired to survive, we are wired to ensure we have what we need: emotionally, spiritually, physically, intellectually and we work hard to keep those at acceptable levels for our personalities, where we are in our lives and countless other factors.

What is the protocol when relationships shift from high priority to a lesser priority? Still a priority, but less of one. What happens when you date someone, you make plans, you talk about everything and cocooned in your love pod; everything is perfect. Then reality happens. Reality has a way of being that shovel to the face or falling down some stairs you didn’t see. If you are in a relationship and reality hits; it takes a very astute partner to realize reality is lurking at the bottom of those stairs or winding that shovel up to clock you in the face. Their reflexes could be the difference between them having to get smelling salts to wake you up after you get thwacked or catching the shovel or pushing you out of the way so you don’t get hit.  It’s a survival game.

I’ve said it here before and have engaged in discussions about relationships at various stages with tons of people. I see relationships as a way to have companionship and have two people reacting and experiencing life together. Building love, growing together and truly becoming ‘one’. (In the Biblical sense.)

Because I’ve already covered this in subsequent posts, I won’t dwell on it.

Instead, what happens to two people when one couldn’t prevent the other from getting smacked with the reality shovel? They part ways and their friendship is broken. The amount of care hasn’t changed. All of the initial reasons for a strong friendship are still present and some might argue due to the time spent cultivating the friendship, it’s ceased from being raw ore or a collection of similar elements and is now an alloy. I light, agile, strong compound able to withstand some pretty acute forces of reality. But, due to disagreements on how to temper the alloys; it’s been left in the vice. Files and tongs hang smartly on their hooks; no move to hone this alloy or shape it into anything more than it is. It’s a mass. A conglomeration of experiences, conversations, dreams and aspirations.

When friendships dissolve they don’t really go anywhere, depending on the strength of the relationship. Ignoring the friendship doesn’t destroy the experiences. It doesn’t put the tears, long since wiped away, back on a streaked face. It doesn’t punch the teeth out of smiles, created through shared experiences. It doesn’t go back in time and erase shared glances, handshakes, hugs or kisses. It doesn’t somehow misplace the elation that comes from reunions after long periods of absence. It doesn’t make the warmest hugs, given in comfort, cold. All of those things happened. It will affect trust and I understand that. I’m not talking about infidelity in a relationship. I’m talking about someone who feels abandoned, who feels like they don’t have access to that person anymore. Trust is fixable if the life shared was truly shared.

I would offer, casting aside an insurmountable investment into a friendship/relationship is waste. Reality has a harshness that changes things. A harshness that puts an edge on things.  Based on reality people, places, things shift in their priority. Somethings will be the most important things in the universe…then reality happens, jobs happen, moves happen and the shift happens and reality hits you with a shovel.

It doesn’t mean you aren’t important. It doesn’t mean there is any regret. It means; life.

There are many ways to respond to this: Work harder! You’re always saying discipline is the answer to everything. Just work it out.

True. Discipline is paramount to success in everything. In this case…both parties would need to be disciplined. To offer solutions. Actual solutions, instead of dropping an armful of maps onto the drafting table and walking out; ‘You’ll figure it out! I believe in you!’

Nope. Not the answer.

This will likely be a series as I navigate through thoughts.