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For everybody knows that it requires very little to satisfy the gentlemen, if a woman will only give her mind to it. – Margaret Oliphant
Greetings, Blogosphere and my long alienated readership,
I undoubtedly, missed you and promise not to abandon you for long stretches of time again. Though I believe you were as informed as you could be prior to my hiatus.
Quick update. Rally the Gentlemen 2012 is still in effect and I’ll start posting to that aim soon. August is my third alcohol-free month. I’m irritated. Not depressed.
Depressed gives way to scenes of morose brooding, devastating sadness, a certain grief-fueled energy that attaches itself to every aspect of a life, so affected.
None of the above descriptions are me. They weren’t me.
The dissolution of my marriage and my current, less than amazing work situation are not the catalysts of a depression addled life. They are reaffirmations that I’m once again in the right and in-fact, surrounded by self-serving, morons.
I’ve been saddled with coworkers, despite being caught in lies, continue to not be forthwith or ally them with a form of communication that lends to the success of our mission or truthiness.
I’m getting older. I’m trying my hardest not to plaster my gray hairs with all of the blame for me becoming an irritated, reclusive man.
Man.
I am a Man. Despite the recent statements read on one- soon-to-be-ex-wife’s Match.com profile, I am a Man.
Men in this day and age are becoming harder and harder to come-by. My Manhood came into question at multiple times during the initial phases of my divorce. Mostly, jabs at my character for walking away from a vow I made to her and before an almighty God.
I believe a Man’s, Manness, could potentially lie in his ability to make the calculated decision to un-saddle himself from a rider who is neither concerned with his well-being or station in life.
I refuse to engage in petty postings about trivial nonsense surrounding the I said, she said, drivel that so many take to the web to promote.
I will use examples to explain Manness and the systematic castration of Men in our society.
Back to my, Man as a Race Horse – analogy.
A rider, who doesn’t want to win races with the Race Horse, should no more be its rider than a politician running for an office he can’t picture himself ever attaining the office he seeks.
In order to win races with the Race Horse, the Race Horse must be kept in shape, not bothered by trivial minutia. The Race Horse must be allowed the space necessary to actively engage his mind and/or body – without concern for the rider’s actions. The Race Horse must be ready at all times and at all times be poised to win.
The rider must also be in top shape in both mind and body, apart from the Race Horse. The rider must study strategy and by using the strengths of the Race Horse mold a plan to bring his/her strengths to form a seamless union, catapulting them to victory.
The Race Horse must be able to trust the rider. Inversely, the rider must be able to trust the Race Horse.
The Race Horse must never question the intentions or goals of the rider. The Race Horse must eventually be brought to a point of trust where he is not a fool to always assume the rider is only concerned with their success as a team and is prepared to give 100% to that goal.
The rider must trust the Race Horse will protect from falling, protect from other horses, and be strong and available to the rider. The rider must get to the point where the assumption that the Race Horse will always give 100% of himself to the point of exhaustion is not a wasted assumption.
TANGENT.
The castration of Men in society is happening and has been happening for years.
Men are no longer the masters of their own domain. There is a weakening of resolve; relegating Men to an almost side-kick status to the point where I’m not surprised people have problems taking them seriously.
Men are no longer living by any sort of credo, worthy of emulation or honor.
There is a distinct lack of honesty and for some reason Men are trying to operate outside of the realm of logic and reason.
I am perfectly prepared for the backlash that I did not do the honorable thing by initiating my divorce.
I will give you this in response:
My decision to get divorced was purely based on self-preservation. I found my love of life slipping away from me as my life progressed through the cyclic silliness; my soon-to-be-ex-wife was so keen on perpetuating. I had never had one suicidal thought prior to the last year of my marriage. Not so during that last year.
My advice: Do not ever make excuses or dismiss anything that initially gives you pause. People learn and can subsequently change. People who refuse to learn…never change. More often than not someone with a distinct lack of pattern recognition skills will never learn. If something about your significant other makes you double-take, address it immediately. If you don’t get a suitable answer it’s up to you to weigh the pros and cons. If after this period of weighing, pros and cons, ends with even one con more than the pro. End it.
Life is way too short to be a slave to silliness.
Sometimes the Man thing to do is take it on the chin, pull chocks and start over.
My bankroll was about 7k lighter, but my peace of mind was worth it.
Some words of encouragement: Oftentimes if you are the one breaking off the relationship and you have gone through the processes to save it, i.e. counseling, church etc. You will be comforted to see your wayward former partner continue to repeat and live in a pit of cyclic silliness. You will see multiple forms of validation that you made the right choice to leave.
People may decide to try and combat you with the Bible. God hates divorce. Sure, He hates murders, too. We are living in an age of grace…should we go out and go bonkers because we can? Of course not, but sometimes there doesn’t seem like a way out and certain steps and actions need to be taken. If God’s grace and forgiveness is extended to murderers and rapists, I am fully confident in my ability to be forgiven for making the mistake of getting married and eventually divorced.
We have finite minds. We don’t make the right choice all the time. We can’t expect to get everything right. I needed a do-over. End of story.
Back to Men –
Men, we aren’t always going to be right. There is something to be said for a Man willing to admit that. There is strength in having the wherewithal to come forward and admit a mistake. Do what you can to not make that mistake again.
Men, keep your word. If you say you are going to do something, do it. (Again I feel I will be accused of not keeping my word with my divorce. She didn’t keep hers either. I’ll get to that.) If you slip up see the first point, above. Learn from it.
Men, be honest. If you are thinking something, bring it up. If you are in a relationship, with the right mindset, your honesty will hold it together. Honestly may also tear it apart if what you are being honest about isn’t something she wants to hear…but either way…pine after a clear conscience. Be honest.
Men, be accessible, both physically and emotionally. This plays back into honesty. If you are sad…be sad. If your lady is sad and needs a hug…hug her. Hold her. Protect her. For too long the image of Man, was emotionally inaccessible, robot person. No one wants that. Be there for her.
I’m writing this at work…I’ll be back. I promise.
Be Gentleman, Gentlemen.
I saw the following on Pinterest tonight:
“I wonder of more girls were willing to be ladies, more guys would be challenged to be gentlemen.”
My Response:
Gents…let’s not wait for the women to be ladies. Let us cherish them as our mothers intended and through those efforts may they respond in kind… I charge you Gentlemen; open doors, pay compliments, help with bags/parcels, offer an arm, render aid…Be MEN, Gentlemen…
This is my first post of the new year and my cause for 2012. More to come.
…my loyal readers. I’m going to have a ton to post shortly. I’m in rage-mode at the moment and that usually means I’d be irrational if I were to post now. If nothing else I’ll throw some Picture Funtime up later…I’m dying to share some stuff with you guys…but the time isn’t right.
Much Love,
WP
Stay Classy – Readership.
The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things that endure. These qualities are so much more important than the events that occur.” –Vince Lombardi
Sphere three is the Spirit. The literal definition of the Spirit is:
spir·it (sprt) n.
1.
a. The vital principle or animating force within living beings.
Our spirit is something people neglect without even knowing it. Our spirits are like muscles. It will atrophy if it’s not used.
Spirits should be allowed to flex and expand. As a Christian I pursue a Godly life. This pursuit allows my soul to flex. I take time to appreciate things. To be thankful for what I have. I attribute all that is good to God‘s provision. Not everyone does. I’m not here to brow-beat anyone into allowing God to have a presence in your life. But it is important for your spirit to believe in something. To be inspired to accomplish things.
A good exercise for spiritual development is to have a time of honest introspection. Measure yourself to your past self. See how you stack up. Come to the realization of where you fit in the world.
Where are you?
Where is your head?
Where are your goals?
Spiritual strength can be sought but unless there is honesty it will never be attained. In my case, my pursuit of a Godly life strengthens my spirit each time I don’t take all the credit for my accomplishments. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy my accomplishments…I just attribute the success to God blessing me and giving me a brain that works that allows me to solve problems and expand my spirit.
Philosophy is a touchy subject for most Christians…because they typically write it off as humanistic drivvel. It boils down to attribution. We’ve been endowed with free-will so we are capable of observing and making deductions about our environments and our fellow humans. This ability is a great way to expand a spirit. The more you know about your surroundings, they more complete your spirit will be.
This is a very brief description. I plan on elaborating later, but I wanted to get this down…Thanks for reading.
The greatest wealth is health. ~Virgil
A Theory.
Everyone is composed of a cluster of spheres. Mind, Body, Spirit, Public, Family, Occupation and each of these has sub-spheres.
Mind – Education, Philosophy etc
Body- Nutrition, Health, Fitness etc
Spirit – Religion, Philosophy etc
Public- Friends, Coworkers, Strangers, Acquaintances etc
Family – Blood, Marriage, Friends etc
Occupation – Hobbies, Work etc
All of these spheres are important. They move in concert with one another each taking priority in turn depending on the circumstances.
Body – Nutrition, Health, Fitness
Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity. ~World Health Organization, 1948
The body is the vessel rocketing people through life. Some people unfortunately aren’t rocketing and are sliming along. When the topic of health comes up people typically think of two things: 1) some horrible, terminal illness or 2) an amazingly healthy person accomplishing amazing things i.e.: Lance Armstrong, Usain Bolt or someone who’s done some fantastic feat of strength or endurance.
Health is the ability to be well mentally, emotionally and physically.
FamilyDoctor.Org published this list of healthy tips: ( – Some are for women only – )
Do my habits really affect my health?
Don’t smoke or use tobacco.
Limit how much alcohol you drink.
Too much alcohol can damage the liver and contribute to some cancers, such as throat cancer and liver cancer. Alcohol also contributes to deaths from car wrecks, murders and suicides.
Eat healthy.
Lose weight if you’re overweight.
Exercise.
Don’t sunbathe or use tanning booths.
Practice safe sex.
Use latex condoms and a spermicide (a product that kills sperm) gel or cream. Talk with your doctor about being tested for STIs.
Keep your shots up to date.
Check your breasts.
Get regular Pap smears.
Ask your doctor about other cancer screenings.
Should I have a yearly physical?
A Theory.
Everyone is composed of a cluster of spheres. Mind, Body, Spirit, Public, Family, Occupation and each of these has sub-spheres.
Mind – Education, Philosophy etc
Body- Nutrition, Health, Fitness etc
Spirit – Religion, Philosophy etc
Public- Friends, Coworkers, Strangers, Acquaintances etc
Family – Blood, Marriage, Friends etc
Occupation – Hobbies, Work etc
All of these spheres are important. They move in concert with one another each taking priority in turn depending on the circumstances.
MIND – Education, Philosophy, Religion, Motivation, Drive,
The obvious focus of developing the mind is: education. Education is very important, not just to discover new thing, but having a formal education allows for a more fluid transition between ideas. Learning is gaining different perspectives on the world. The more education, the more perspectives. The more perspectives, the easier it is to relate and communicate with people, regardless of their background.
Philosophy.
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A philosophy is not always an affluent study or a multi-volume collection of whimsy published by a doctor, professor or public leader. A philosophy can be as simple as taking 5 or 10 minutes to think about something. Philosophy is desiring clarity and information to make more sense of the world. A disciplined philosophy will take into account all parties and their opinions/positions before taking an educated stance on a matter.
Philosophy is usually ignored or shunned by the religious side of the world-view house. There isn’t any reason both can’t share the spotlight. Reasoning is one of the beautiful gifts we were blessed with upon creation. I’m a Christian and find using the mind God gave me should be something I should flex daily. The power to reason, deduce and explore the world around me is wonderful. Too often the religious sects get nose-deep in text and forget to live…
The acquisition of knowledge and understanding how things work will give way to the ability to motivate. Accomplishing a goal is impossible without knowledge or an understanding of the situation. Granted, often times in the military the lowest ranks aren’t given the big picture…but the scope of their knowledge tells them, their leaders are armed with all of the knowledge to give instruction or commands. It’s this knowledge that breeds an almost rabid motivation to accomplish a mission. These men/women are shown time and time again that their leaders will take care of them and the mission will get done.
Everyone is capable of generating enough knowledge about something to effectively motivate themselves to accomplish a goal.
As a society – obesity, drug-use, alcholism etc. are all prevelant because of a lack of knowledge. Not a lack of information, a lack of knowledge. Information is everywhere. But, if it’s not applied nothing gets done. Usually issues of overindulgence manifest themselves because people don’t know how else to vent their frustration or are unwilling to glean the information necessary to generate enough motivation to break free.
Get out. Get Smart. Get it Done.
**DISCLAIMER**
This is me getting some ideas out there for the masses. I’m planning on completing research and going into more depth at some point.
**DISCLAIMER**