“But….He is a Really Nice Guy…” “He’s a Good Guy, though…”
I have come to abhor those comments and ones like them.
Lately, there has been a trend of me being in close proximity to people who, in my eyes, are unworthy of their station. Maybe that is a little harsh – who are failing to live up to or see the importance of their station – and are therefore not to be trusted or associated with.
Someone who consistently makes lewd comments about women, maintains a less than professional demeanor under the guise of being ‘laid-back’ and uses kindness to shroud their lateness and lack of production.
Whenever someone has words of admonition for these people, the response is always – “He’s a nice guy…good guy…kind guy…”
Since when does niceness have any bearing on someone’s competence? It doesn’t, nor has it ever. Niceness has never been an accurate gauge of someone’s worth. Is it a nice characteristic to have? Absolutely – if it’s well intentioned.
Some of the least trustworthy people I know are nice as can be, until they want something or get it in their heads you owe them something.
Since when was a person’s merit wholly hinged on how ‘nice’ they are?
In the military they have height and weight standards – if you’re a certain height, you have to maintain a weight directly related to your height. There are fat people all over the military and I am one of the first people to make mention of Marines around me if they are fat or look bad in uniform. Instead of fellow Marines agreeing with the fact some of these Marines are fat, they conjure up some empty, sideways compliment about how that person is a super, groovy dude. He’s really, totally a gnarly nice guy.
He could be a Nobel Peace Prize winner, but as a military member, if he looks terrible in his uniform because he’s fat…that’s it…he’s fat and looks terrible. Making a factual statement about someone’s lack of professional appearance is not an attack on their character or the strength of their moral fiber. It’s typically a focused look at a single facet of their lives, opinion, outlook, etc.
Which leads me to another point: you cannot dispute facts. That’s the beauty of them, they’re FACTS. Disputing a fact makes you look like a dope. Just accept the facts as they are, learn from them, ponder them, teach them to others but don’t dispute them…they’re facts for a reason.
Going into this new year – be nice to others, but don’t make it your only priority. There are better ways to prove your worth.