So…Readership…Justin Bieber. WTF?
It is a sad state of affairs when a blatantly effeminate little twat-boy can garner so much press and such a fan following.
I’m an avid BuzzFeed/Huffingtonpost reader/contributor and all the drivel I see about this jokeshop drives me nuts. This kid has been alive for all of 15 minutes and he’s published a book: First Step 2 Forever. Really bro? First Step ‘2’ Forever? How about “Now That I’m Weaned, Imma Sing Some Songs Some Producer Wrote For Me” or “Justin Bieber: Imma Show You My Vagina Now”
This kid’s interviews are sapping any desires for masculinity from our tween/teen boys because they see this little fruit making TONS of money, getting droves of twicks (Tween Chicks[you’re welcome.]) and wearing goofy-ass clothes. I’m not going to talk about his haircut, because it’s too easy… Here’s a sampling of quotes from his book complete with page numbers for all you sheep who bought the book:
”Singers aren’t supposed to have dairy before a show, but we all know I’m a rule breaker. Pizza is just so good!” -page 15
“The day I was born, March 1, 1994, Celine Dion was solid at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 with “The Power of Love.” Not a bad song to start your life on.” -page 26
“Dare to be a sucky skateboarder or a lousy video editor or a completely crappy golfer. If we do only the stuff we’re good at, we never learn anything new.” -page 52
“Now I’m really glad that I speak French, because, let’s face it, girls dig it when a guy speaks French. They call it the language of love, and that ain’t no coincidence. Plus, I love my French fans! Très jolie!” -page 60
“Nothing ever got my pulse racing (in a good way) like hockey. Well, nothing except Beyonce, but that wasn’t until I was twelve or so. Then, all of a sudden, it was like I opened my eyes one day and noticed that the world is full of beautiful girls, and I’ve had a hard time thinking about anything else ever since.” -page 71
“I got up there and sang my little eighth-grade butt off, thinking this was possibly the greatest moment of my entire life — of anyone’s life — better than hockey, better than ‘Star Wars,’ better than Grandma’s turkey and gravy.” -page 88
“I’d just gotten the ugliest haircut of my life the day before. My trademark swoosh was hacked off into this squarish situation that kind of reminded me of Bart Simpson.” -page 124
“I couldn’t believe things were finally coming together. I was almost afraid to believe it. The only thing I can compare it to is when I bungee-jumped off a bridge in New Zealand not long ago. It was a long journey to get there, but, at the last minute, there I was. Standing there. Ready. I had no idea what this was going to be like, but I knew it was going to be awesome.” -page 143
“If I can do just one-tenth of the good Michael Jackson did for others, I can really make a difference in this world.” -page 177
“My foot was broken. In the middle of a song. In front of twelve thousand people. And Taylor Swift. I won’t tell you the words that went through my head.” -page 199
Yup…You’re a “Rule-Breaker.” What rules, dude? Curfew? You didn’t clean your room? Have we really gotten to the place where society will allow this kid to be famous? What is the appeal? He seriously looks like a 27-year-old lesbian…someone Sam Ronson might date. I’m tired of him already and I wish everyone else would tire of him aswell. I love that he likened one of his concerts to the greatest moment in his or ANYONE’S life. Broseph Stalin, No! No! There are people getting married everyday. According to a random fact site I found a baby is born every 3 seconds, which roughly means that about 60 babies are born during a 3 min Justin Bieber song…that’s 60 pairs of mothers and fathers rejoicing about being parents and he has the audacity to compare his concert to the most awesome thing in anyone’s life. This kid is dumb as a box of rocks and his music sucks. The sunshine of my life will come when I can turn on the radio and not hear his music. Fingers-crossed this fad passes soon. Happy 2011, world.