Ok so my fanastic friend Patrick McH and I were having a discussion about looking at people’s hind-ends while they are leaning inside of vehicles or where their faces or chests are obscured…
The debate fueled a new movement that I dare say is WetJetting the nation. Here are the main players: Situational Assessment Glance or SAG: this is the cursory glance to determine the gender of the target. Lingering Assesment Glance or LAG: this is the longer more observant, hopefully you’ve determined the gender of your target and are drinking in the majesty of that particular strangers hind-end. FAG is self explanitory; a FAG is someone who commits a foul and finds himself inadvertently LAG-ing at what turns out to be a guy.
We decided to create this scale of measurment to prevent the ridicule that ultimately is the result of not only LAG-ing, but if you are in a car full of your buddies and you announce that out the right side of the car there is a beautiful rump-end bent into a car and it turns out to be a guy, you can have your dignity. First of all, you have exactly 7 (SEVEN) seconds to determine whether or not it’s a guy or girl. This SEVEN seconds is call a SAG. Within that SEVEN seconds, if it is a guy you’d better avert your gaze, for if you continue you turn it into a LAG and are a FAG. If it is a woman you have SEVEN seconds to turn the SAG into a LAG if you fail to do so then you are a FAG.
So apply this simple formula to your ogling and you’ll never be called a FAG.