Ha Ha! I knew that title was too much for you not to read further into my claim. I’m sorry to disappoint you fetishists who enjoy being the pee-er and/or the pee-ee, I’m speaking figuratively not literally.
Manda, my girlfriend of almost two months, shared with me last night that she would not be visiting my Myspace page anymore due to the influx of smokin’ hot friends who have been leaving me comments. The comments include but aren’t limited to; “…If you can sneak out of the house, come have raunchy sex with me while my husband watches…”, or the ever popular; “…Me and my girlfriend(s) are bored and tired of using these silly dildos, can we use borrow the Envy of Men and Pleaser of Women, the famed Roger Brunswick?”
That is why my darling will not be frequenting my page anymore. Whilst most guys would be incensed and offended, I’m not ‘most-guys’. I’m going to revel in the fact that the woman I’m seeing is fine with not Mystalking me. Which also leaves me with more time to recruit women to occupy the ‘Back-Burners’ of my life, just in case we don’t work out. MONEY.
Of course I’m kidding. The main reason for this post is that I’m calling her bluff. I think that she is telling me that so I wonlt be suspicious of her internet actions. I’ll give her the fact that the women on my site (www.myspace.com/warrenpiece_) make her angry with the promiscuous comments, but I’m going to call it right now: she’s still going to check and after I get about 5 or 6 more racy comments she’ll be forced to leave a comment just to let the other women know that she is still the Alpha-Chick. So those of you who read this, go check out my page and feel free to participate in my Racy Comment Rundown….
It is true that women are like dogs. A dog knows that if they are given a piece of fantastically, tender, delicious meat, they will defend it to the death or until they eat it way too fast to enjoy it because dogs are stupid.
Women know when they have a good thing, I mean look at Manda, she’s dating me. They get very territorial when they see another woman, ‘sniffing-around’ their piece of delicious ‘man-meat’and they want to fight or boycott Myspace pages.
It isn’t enough that you might spend an inordinate amount of time with your woman. They want to try and invade your very consciousness. That is why, when they don’t know where you are and with whom you are with, they’ll send you text messages that they subconsciously will demand that you respond to. Or they may call you, over and over and over, and over and when you don’t pick up they’ll automatically assume that you aren’t answering because you are ‘balls-deep’ in their bestfriend or some other random whore. (DISCLAIMER** To the men that are reading and committing this to memory; EVERY WOMAN THAT ISN’T THEM IS ,INFACT, A RANDOM WHORE.)
So that my friends and BlockersThat is why, despite your fetishes and unquenchable lust for strange pornography, women are like dogs.
Much Love and Piece Out,